Dave Casler
PO Box 98
Ridgway, Colorado 81432
Young Adult Novels by Dave Casler...
I've been told by publisher after publisher that there's no market for Young Adult novels. I think they're wrong! So I'm putting my novels on-line for you. Forget the publisher! Read to your heart's content--it's free! And, I'd like to hear from you, too! Contact Page.
You're reading About Dan. Be sure to check out About Phillip here.
Dan is a normal kid who loves his soccer. Except everything goes wrong. Everything.
About Series Home
About the About Series
Index to All Chapters
Here are all the chapters, disguised as asterisks. Hover your mouse over an asterisk to see the title of the chapter. Click on the asterisk to go straight to that chapter.
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(About Dan Home) (Last) (Next)
Dan Speaks in Public
It was the first Sunday in February, which meant the monthly Testimony Meeting. Dan felt the need to bear his testimony to the congregation, so he crutched his way to join those who wanted a turn to speak. It was nine days after his second surgery—the reason for the crutches. Dr. Jones told him the surgery went mostly well but not to expect miracles.
When his turn came, Dan stood at the pulpit to face the congregation. He felt them hush.
"Brothers and sisters," he began. "It's been a long time since I bore my testimony. You know, I see so many people get up here and tell everyone about their hardships and how the gospel has given them strength and helped them through it, so I figured I ought to get up here, too. Maybe that’ll give me some strength. I could sure use it."
He shifted uncomfortably between his crutches and his good leg; his bum knee ached.
"So many people here have been so good to me. I'd like to thank Bishop Parker, who's always been there for me. Even though I don't date his daughter anymore. I think he's relieved about that!" The congregation responded with a faint titter.
Lisa, sitting by Justin as usual, looked down at the floor. But Sister Jones was looking at him expectantly, waiting for him to follow the usual formula for bearing testimonies.
"Also, the Relief Society has been great, too. They kind of made it possible for me to get through the funeral and all the stuff afterwards. You know, life is so much easier when we have friends we can lean on when hard times come."
He thought about Cheryl and all her handy sayings about friends.
"I should also say thank you to a bunch of non-member friends I have who have been super also."
He shifted his weight again. The spot under his left arm where the crutch rubbed was going to sleep. His palms were getting sweaty.
"I have to say the changes over the past few months have been overwhelming. I'm totally sick to death of what's going on with my knee. That's where I'd really like a miracle, but I guess Heavenly Father doesn't want me to have one."
There was a rumble from the congregation. Dan wasn’t following the formula.
"Of course, the really hardest thing has been losing my mom. A lot of you know my mom and I didn't have the greatest relationship. Now that I look back, I see how selfish I was. Really. I know that's a weird thing for a teenager to say, but now that I've lost her I feel pretty alone."
He shifted his weight and looked at the clock.
"You know, I hear a lot of people say they get a lot of strength from the gospel that helps them be prepared for things like this to happen. I wish I had that strength. I feel pretty empty right now. I'm trying to learn how to pray. I keep praying for an answer, but I haven't received one yet."
More weight shifting. Another pause. Palms still sweating.
"I know this sounds kind of stupid, but it's like Heavenly Father wants me to make up my own mind—but I really don't know how. Lots of people are giving me advice, but everyone's advice is different, so I guess I just need to have some space to figure it all out. Oh, yeah, I suppose you're all wondering. Yes, I do have a testimony and I believe Heavenly Father is there. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."
With that, he turned away from the pulpit and worked his way down the podium steps. He felt strangely peaceful as though a burden had been lifted from his shoulders. He fell into his seat with a thump, just as Sister Jameson started to speak.
"I really appreciate Dan's honesty," she said. "I can remember when I was his age I also wanted answers. They were remarkably hard to come by. And I didn't want to be patient, either! Those were hard years. Dan, you have my sympathy and I won't pretend to give you advice. You just work it out with your Father in Heaven and you'll be fine."
She went on to talk about a missionary experience she'd had at the bus station. Three others followed her. None mentioned Dan nor touched on any of the topics he raised. Dan stiffened, however, when he saw Lisa walking toward the pulpit.
"I want Dan to know how much I think he's a great guy. We've known each other for years. My heart goes out to him for all the troubles he's had this year," she began.
I'll bet, thought Dan. Where were you when I needed you?
"I know Heavenly Father will always be there for you, Dan, and will lift you up in your times of trouble."
Right, thought Dan. How would you know?
She suddenly switched topics, telling about an experience at school that she said strengthened her testimony. Dan slumped down in his pew during her soliloquy but perked up when he saw who was next. Jerri was making her way to the pulpit.
"Dan really made me think," she said. "I sort of understand how he feels. I know how complicated these things are and how hard it can be to apply the gospel in these circumstances. I'm new in the ward, so most of you don't know me really well. My name's Jerri Smith. My dad and I moved into the ward around Thanksgiving. That's because my dad and mom got divorced a while back, and recently we figured it was just easier if we moved out of state. I don't have a good relationship with my mother and haven't for several years. Since I don't see her much, it's sort of like she died, but she keeps coming back and then it's awful again. Like Dan said, I'd always relied on her being there, but now she isn't, but when she is, it's sort of like the way hell is described in the Bible, you know, fire and brimstone. It isn't anything like the way families are described in Primary, that's for sure.
"But, I've learned to live with it. I really love my dad, and I guess I love my mother in a way, because, after all, she's my mother. Maybe someday our relationship will be different. I've got a lot to learn about how to do my part in that.
"I've gotten to know Dan a little bit and it seems like he can really understand what I've been through. And he's kind of cute, too." The congregation laughed. Several people turned to look at Dan, who, caught off guard, turned red.
"You know," she said, "I think we'll both make it." She then wrapped up her testimony in the usual manner and sat down.
The closing hymn turned out to be the same hymn the choir sang at his mother's funeral. Dan looked at the words, interested to see what sounded so beautiful at a time when he felt so alone.
Where can I turn for peace? Where is my solace
When other sources cease to make me whole?
When with a wounded heart, anger or malice,
I draw myself apart, Searching my soul?
The music was hauntingly beautiful. He put the hymnbook down let the congregation sing without him. He wanted to cry, but he thought he'd done enough crying and it was time to stop that.